A banker is a fellow
who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it
back the minute it begins to rain.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
wants to read.
A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like
he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
All the modern inconveniences.
An experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite picturesque
liar.
By trying, we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another
man's, I mean.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence
on society.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said
I didn't know.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will
not bite you.This is the principal difference between a dog and
a man.
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member
of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid
prejudice.
Truth is the most valuable thing we have -- so let us economize
it.
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
When in doubt, tell the truth.
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it
is time to reform.
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?
It is because we are not the person involved.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
All you need in
this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
My books are water, those of great genious are wine- everybody
drinks water.
His money is twice tainted: 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
"Thunder is good, thunder is
impressive, but it is lightning that does the work."
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant... but
when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned
in 7 years."
"The difference between the right word and the almost right
word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug."
"Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need
to."
The Following Twain Quotes were sent to me by my friend Rory McCabe.
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joyyou must have somebody to divide it with.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one
E-mail me at:
chaslo@getnet.com
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